Permanent Pacemaker for the Oldest Living President

The oldest living President had a permanent pacemaker implanted yesterday at the venerable Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota.

Penny Circle, Ford’s ex-Chief of Staff said that Ford’s PPM would “enhance his heart’s performance.” StopPagingMe.com loves quotes like this because its vague nature is integral to the way lay public develop false beliefs about medical devices.

The actual truth is that Ford is 93 years old and his cardiac conduction system is most likely calcified to the point that he has developed significant heart block and/or sick sinus syndrome.

Most often, the pacemaker does not “enhance” the heart’s function, as preserve it. Without an external device to stimulate or conduct the heart’s electric impulse, the heart would simply stop.

President Ford, the 38th Leader of the Free World, is now resting comfortably and should be discharged within a few days, assuming no complications.